THE CHIEL

Matric rave goes on and on and on …

SO WE think the raving is almost over? Tomorrow morning, surely, when the results come out and thousands and thousands know where they stand on the slippery ladder of life? Then they will all calm down?

Welcome to Matric Parents Anonymous. Not that it will be of much help or consolation.

This is for parents past, present and future who imagined that entry into the final year of school must finally mark the arrival of a more mature and studious teenager in the household – to replace the somewhat uncouth and unhelpful one who has been there for what seems like much too long.

Is not the matriculation exam the decisive rung? Is it not the hard line between child and adult? An acid test of our success or failure as concerned parents? Hopefully not.

The truth, let it be whispered, is that Grade 12 is a moment too late to start worrying – most universities (technical or otherwise) now look at Grade 11 results to decide who they will and will not admit. But matric does give one last grab at the slippery rung. And it still retains the aura. As it will under any name.

As the matric year lurches forward and the good parents still see no sign of increasing responsibility, no focus on the future, they allow themselves to imagine that mid-year, or perhaps the urgency of trial examinations and looming finals might do the job. Alas not?

Hopes now move to the exam timetable and adjunct, the swotting timetable. This, surely, must set out the stark reality of what lies ahead and bring our high flier to earth. Many good hours can be spent setting up the study timetable and it does give a powerful illusion of achievement.

But only the most optimistic could imagine the timetable has any bearing on what lies ahead. Far more important, they learn, are resting, socialising, exercising, recuperating … There are, after all, two days between the two trickiest examinations, plenty of time to cover two years’ work, we are told.

The end of examinations, then? That must mark the moment of maturity? No? The end of Matric Rave then, which follows matric as surely as a mighty splash follows a mighty jump, or a mighty gulp follows a might swig. But the rave goes on?

The results then? Sobriety, responsibility, good manners, a sense of purpose, the need to earn an income must all arrive on December 28? With the results. Surely? Do they learn nothing from experience? Do we?

Various traditions mark the age of maturity and responsibility between about 14 and 21. Insurance companies go for 24 or 25, but it’s moving up. Realists think somewhere around 30, or marriage, whichever comes later. John Steinbeck thought senility might do the job ...

Matric Parents Anonymous can offer only sympathy. Chiel VII until Jan 14 is morstew@iafrica.com

Tailpiece

The devil goes to South Africa. There he meets Gatiep and asks: “Do you know who I am?”

Gatiep says: “Nay, djy’s nie van die plek nie ... give me a clue.”

The devil says: “I’m the prince of darkness.”

Gatiep: “O, djy’s die big shot by Eskom then!”

FROM OUR FILES

DECEMBER 27, 1957: Queenstown – A devastating fire completely destroyed a large modern garage, Queenstown Motors, in the early hours of Tuesday (December 24).
Damage was estimated at £20000. Sixteen motor vehicles were destroyed. A manager of the firm, Mr Ralph Heuer, collapsed and was taken to the hospital and treated for shock. Nothing was saved from the fire. This was the second fire in Queenstown in the past six months. The last was when the Waldorf Café corner site was razed to the ground in a £70000 blaze. The garage was built about three years ago.

DECEMBER 27, 1977: The Summerpride Drive-In will shut down on January 1. The owner, Mr Alf Beckman, said attendance had dropped to such an extent that the
cinema had been running at a loss for two years. The drive-in received a permit to
admit Coloured, Indians and blacks earlier this year but this had not helped.

‘Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within’ — James A Baldwin

TIMELINE

Today is Thursday, December 27, the 361st day of 2007. There are four days left in the year.

Today’s Birthdays: Johannes Kepler, German
astronomer (1571-1630); Louis Pasteur, French
scientist (1822-1895); Louis Bromfield, United States novelist (1896-1956); Marlene Dietrich, German actress (1901-1992); John Amos, US actor (1941-); Cokie Roberts, US newsperson (1943-); Gerard Depardieu, French actor (1948-).

This day in history:

1794 — The Portuguese battleship São José a Nossa Senhora das Mercês was grounded in Camps Bay, Cape, with nearly 500 slaves on board. The ship was totally wrecked and about 200 slaves were drowned. Other sources mention that an earlier ship, also called São José, had been wrecked in 1622 along the Cape coast. About 1300 ships have been wrecked on or near the South African coast since the year 1500.

1831 — Naturalist Charles Darwin sets out on a voyage to the Pacific aboard the HMS Beagle. His discoveries during the voyage helped form the basis of his theories on evolution.

1838 — In the Battle of the White Umfolozi River, a Voortrekker commando under Commandant Karel Landman was ambushed and nearly overpowered by a Zulu Impi. Alexander Harvey Biggar, a British officer and Natal pioneer who had joined the Voortrekker commando to avenge the death of his two sons at the hands of Zulu warriors, was killed with five others in the running fight while trying to escape. Despite their success, the losses of the 5000-strong Zulu regiment were heavy and Zulu morale was already crumbling.

1993 — Samuel Magaula Mabuja, East Rand Umkhonto we Sizwe commander, was shot dead by police in Vosloorus Township, near Heidelberg, Transvaal.