THE CHIEL

World Cup chuckles

IT’S to be expected I suppose and it’s certainly brilliant to be on the giving rather than receiving end for a change. E-mail jibes at Wallabies and All Blacks are flying around thick and fast.

Here’s a sampling received from various, and sometimes several, sources:

l World leaders are united in praise for the New Zealand All Blacks after hearing they will contribute to the planet's carbon footprint reduction by dropping off the Aussies on their way home. Heehee!

l Latest news from the Rugby World Cup 2007: England meet France in the first semi-final on Saturday; South Africa meet Argentina in the other semi-final on Sunday. Australia, however, have already met New Zealand – in the Business Class lounge at the airport.

l Then there’s a banner held up by a South African (presumably at the Bok-Fiji quarterfinal) which read: Any Kiwi fans with spare finals tickets, please call me.

l What’s the difference between the All Blacks and half a Viagra?

At least you get a semi from half a Viagra.

l There’s also a rehashed illustration of a bottle of wine – I think the previous one was after Australia thumped England in the last Ashes cricket series Down Under.

This one is is of a bottle with a label stating Shatto Campo and a photo of David Campese. (Don’t know why he’s been drawn into it.) The wine is called Pom Victoire, Champain 2007. 100% proof Australian Whine ... Made from pure sour grapes! Available from Down Underwins!

Then follows an explanation beside the bottle ... “Matured over several years, this robust performer has been enjoyed by the English for some time. Australians may find it hard to swallow due to its bitter aftertaste which can last four years and more. Best cold with humble pie or barbecued wings!”

No wonder the Wallabies have gone home with their tails between their legs. One of them said a couple of weeks back: “I hate the English!” He’s had his comeuppance.

And for me, wiping the smile off Aussie faces was better than the All Blacks being beaten. I feel quite sorry for them.

September rain

IT felt a dry month and it was. September didn’t dish up much and in East London itself, were it not for 34mm recorded on the 29th, the picture would have been bleaker.

For the record Chiselhurst had 48mm (96-year average 76); Bridle Drift 16 (67); Berlin 8 (84); and Umzoniana 38 (81).

The table for Chiselhurst looks like this:

’02’03’04’05’06’07Ave

Jan

15847187771257777

Feb

295443741307883

Mar

32234678476100104

April

1417429128957772

May

98039621434447

June

2420315122734

July

12921511041541

Aug

2192132481734839

Sept

1475319113994876

Oct

48874434355–95

Nov

67416032554–103

Dec

61971778103–81

Total

10648299238781369514852

Chiel: 043 702 2242 or chiel@dispatch.co.za

Tailpiece

IF swimming is good for your figure, explain why whales look like they do.

FROM OUR FILES

OCTOBER 11, 1957: Hundreds of East Londoners saw Sputnik, the earth satellite (launched by Soviet Russia on October 4) flashing its way across the sky last night. Descriptions of the satellite’s clarity ranged from “brighter than Venus” to “like an electric torch in the heavens”. Almost all the sightings were with the naked eye.

In addition to its familiar “beep beep”, Sputnik is now emitting signals which sound like “hm hm” and “psst psst”, American scientists said yesterday.

OCTOBER 11, 1977: The King William’s Town brothers, Reuben and Barney Meltz, have made an offer to buy East London’s Royal Hotel, according to papers before the Supreme Court. Earlier this year the Royal Hotel was put under judicial management. The Meltz brothers have been in the hotel industry for 17 years since acquiring the Crown Hotel in King.

‘Happiness is a choice that requires effort at times’. — Aeschylus

TIMELINE

Today is Thursday, October 11, the 284th day of 2007. There are 81 days left in the year.

Today’s Birthdays: Eleanor Roosevelt, US first lady and Nobel Peace Prize laureate (1884-1962); Francois Mauriac, French writer and Nobel laureate (1885-1970), Daryl Hall, US singer (1949-), Luke Perry, US actor (1966-).

This day in history:

1899 — War is declared between Britain and the Zuid-Afrikaansche Republiek. The ZAR is supported by the Orange Free State.

1988 — Former United States army analyst Thomas Dolce pleads guilty before a US court to supplying a wide range of defence secrets to South Africa between 1979 and 1983.

1988 — The offices of a Windhoek newspaper, the Namibian, are gutted by arsonists. The Wit Wolwe claim responsibility.

1989 — Up to 85000 people march against the Labour Relations Amendment Act in Uitenhage and demand an end to apartheid.

1990 — The African National Congress accuses President FW de Klerk of a breach of confidentiality and unilaterally releases the details of its meeting with the government earlier in the week.

1996 — The Durban Supreme Court acquits all accused in the KwaMakutha massacre trial. Former Defence Minister Magnus Malan and 19 others were charged in 1995 with 13 counts of murder, five of attempted murder and conspiracy to murder arising from the massacre of 13 people in KwaMakutha, south of Durban, on January 21, 1987.

Sunrise: 05:33 Sunset: 18:17

(Source: www.weathersa.co.za)