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THE CHIEL
Chilling out Swede-style not so cool
THE Swedes might fancy a naked jump from the sauna into the snow and call it exhilarating.
South Africa doesn’t have the saunas and few places get snow deep enough for such hi-jinks.
You are more likely to get concussion than improve your circulation.
But those are not the only reasons the sport hasn’t caught on.
We tropicals are just not partial to the cold and that’s that. And we are not alone in our distastes.
You can be cool with some aplomb, you can warm to all sort of things and even be hot, like Britney Spears or Beyoncé Knowles.
But you never ever want to be thought cold, left cold or given the cold shoulder.
Indeed Chiel VII has been unable to dredge up a single expression in the English language which shows any enthusiasm at all for the cold – from getting cold feet to having a cold heart.
You just wouldn’t want to offer cold comfort to anybody, get into a cold sweat, be out cold, stop cold or do anything in cold blood.
Nor would you want to be called a cold fish, be offered cold cuts, or have cold water poured on your ideas.
And you’d be uncertain about blowing hot and cold.
You might just be persuaded to make a cold call, look at something in the cold light of day, or reopen a cold case file.
You would need no invitation to come in out of the cold.
But that’s about as warm as we get about the cold.
Hot gets a much better press.
A lot of people would be very happy to be hot stuff, own a hot car or a hot rod.
Most would be happy to be hot-blooded, even if it sometimes lands them in hot water and they have to hot foot it out of there.
They might get hot and bothered by too much hot air or having to deal with a hot potato.
One consolation for all this is that every grandmother can tell you how not to catch a cold and how to cure it if you do.
This is so certain Dominic Cleary was driven to say: “The only person without a guaranteed cure for the common cold is the doctor.”
Another winter thought from Cleary: “The trouble with morning is that it always comes at such an ungodly hour.”
Further thoughts are that you are less likely to be felled by the common cold if you avoid bouncing between the sauna and the snow.
And winter mornings will seem a little less awful if you take a moment to give thanks that you are not a Swede.
Until Monday Chiel VII is gavinst@dispatch.co.za
Tailpiece
CHURCH NOTICES:
Can’t sleep? Try counting your blessings.
Try Jesus. If you don’t like Him the devil will always take you back.
Life is hard. Afterlife is harder.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
Where will you be sitting in Eternity? Smoking or non-smoking?
Under same management for over 2000 years.
FROM OUR FILES
MAY 25, 1957: Today is The Kaffrarian Rifles’ big day. They will receive the Freedom of the City of East London. The Permanent Force band – under the leadership of an ex-East London man, Bandmaster AW Gezernik – will lead today’s parade. Four Vampire jets will salute the Border’s oldest active rifle regiment by flying low over the central city area this morning shortly before The Kaffrarian Rifles march down Oxford Street to the City Hall, where the mayor will confer the Freedom of the City on the regiment. It was on October 1, 1910 that The Kaffrarian Rifles formally received their regimental colours.
MAY 25, 1977: Pretoria – A 14-year-old schoolboy, Wiggens Kriel of Barkly East, is one of the three winners of South Africa’s Blue Riband – the country’s highest cookery award. This was announced by the Meat Board today. Wiggens’ winning recipe was “stewed pork with sweet and sour sauce”.
‘Anything that we can do to raise personal savings is very much in the interest of this country’ — Alan Greenspan
TIMELINE
Today is Friday, May 25, the 145th day of 2007. There are 220 days left in the year.
Today’s birthdays: Ralph Waldo Emerson, US writer (1803-1882); Josip Broz Tito, Yugoslavia’s president (1892-1980); Beverly Sills, US opera singer (1929-); Ian McKellen, English actor
This day in history:
1842 — Dick King, a 29-year-old wagon driver, and his 16-year-old servant, Ndongeni, leave Durban on horseback for Grahamstown on an epic 900km ride.
1987 — The secretary of the United Democratic Front in the Border, Makhenkesi Stofile, is sentenced to an effective 11 years’ imprisonment in Ciskei for terrorism.
1989 — Barend Strydom receives eight death sentences as the result of racial murders in Pretoria the previous year.
1990 — The African National Congress announces in Lusaka that it will not abandon the armed struggle against white domination until a democratically elected government is in power.
1990 — Former Mandela United football coach Jerry Richardson is found guilty on all charges, including the murder of teenage activist “Stompie” Moeketsi Seipei.
Sunrise: 06:59 Sunset: 17:11
(Source: www.weathersa.co.za)
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