THE CHIEL

Hefty hunks in the buff

WHAT fun! Russians break through ice on rivers and ponds mid-winter and enjoy a New Year’s Day swim in sub-zero temperature. Brrrr!

Finns and Swedes do it too, but then they’ve probably had a body-heating sauna before. And all of them are sure to have dulled senses before taking the plunge, well fortified by generous slugs of vodka and schnapps.

The Brits go in for bizarre activities like mud fights and mud races usually wearing weird costumes.

What do they do in this country? Strange Bush Bar behaviour at Haga Haga according to our Saturday Dispatch report – they “do the Moo at Ninky Noo’s”.

What a hoot. And the photograph that went with it was equally priceless. At first glance the sight of 11 portly men, all in the buff, brought a broad smile, then on closer inspection three or four faces – wouldn’t know about the other parts – looked familiar!

The story revealed that for the past four years Neil Arnold’s pub has become the scene of a unique custom with patrons stripping naked then mooing loudly as they charge through an old cattle dip. The dash has become known as the Moo and more than 2000 participants have earned the T-shirt.

It’s amazing what a bit of Dutch courage will make apparently sane people do.

Neil says he took the precaution of draining out all the old dip sediment, then filled it with clean water before the inaugural swim four years ago. Sexual equality is practised and even a granny of 87 has been through the ritual.

I received letters from two woman readers yesterday. They didn’t want names mentioned which I can understand.

Dear Chiel,

That was some picture. If this is an example of local manhood I reckon our female talent should start looking elsewhere. They do, however, have lovely smiles. That’s about as much as I can say in their favour.

Anonymous

The second:

Dear Chiel,

The photo sent me into a near frenzy of lust. Lekker okes. Have you got any phone numbers? But why cut them off at the waist? You print photos of women with bits hanging out. Why not a glimpse of sagging butts to show what these guys are really made of? Who needs the Chippendales when we’ve got these sexy Ninky Moo Noos.

Signed: 72 and still looking.

The Chiel agrees. Show them for what they are, but then it probably wouldn’t have been very pretty! Aah well, boys will be boys and girls will be girls. They were having lotsa fun and I believe that particular Saturday edition is sold out. Whether it was new fans, or wives and girlfriends who snapped them up to hide their loved ones from further embarrassment, our circulation department has been unable to tell me.

Chiel: 043 702 2242 or chiel@dispatch.co.za

Tailpiece

SOME one-liners:

I went to a seafood disco last week and pulled a mussel.

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says: “Dam!”

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak light a fire. Unsurprisingly it sinks, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it.

FROM OUR FILES

JANUARY 9, 1957: London – Sir Anthony Eden, 59, tonight resigned as prime minister of Great Britain. His sudden resignation came as a climax to the weeks of controversy that had raged over his handling of the Suez crisis.

JANUARY 9, 1977: London – A five-day visit by Grand Duke Jean of Luxembourg to the Queen at Sandringham has hardened rumours that Prince Charles has chosen the beautiful Princess Marie Astrid to be his wife. The princess, 22, was first mentioned as a likely bride for the prince during the visit of the Queen and Prince Philip to the tiny duchy of Luxembourg eight weeks ago. If the flaxen-haired princess were to marry Prince Charles she would have to change her Catholic religion. As British law stands at present the prince would have to relinquish the throne if he married a Catholic. He could only do so if she changed her religion.

‘Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties’ — Erich Fromm

TIMELINE

Today is Tuesday, January 9, the ninth day of 2007. There are 356 days left in the year.

Today’s birthdays: Pope Gregory XV (Allesandro Ludovisi) (1554-1623); Thomas Warton, English poet laureate (1728-1790); Karel Capek, Czechoslovak author (1890-1938); Richard M Nixon, US president (1913-1994); Sekou Toure, first president of Guinea (1922-1984); Joan Baez, US folk singer (1941-); Jimmy Page, English guitarist with rock group Led Zeppelin (1944-).

This day in history:

1729 — The Saxenburg, with 87 people on board and bound from Batavia to the Cape, is wrecked off Agulhas with the loss of 81 lives.

1848 — The Cape Agulhas lighthouse comes into operation.

1922 — About 22000 miners on the Rand gold mines go on strike.

1942 — South African and British forces recapture the town of Bardia in North Africa in World War 2.

1990 — SA Transport Services strikers are attacked by vigilantes at the Germiston railway station. Six people are killed and 67 injured, 12 critically.

1991 — The African National Congress proposes a major all-party conference on constitutional negotiations in an attempt to break the political logjam on this issue.

1996 — The National Crime Information Management Centre releases figures confirming South Africa’s designation as the most violent country in the world outside a war zone.

Sunrise: 05:10 Sunset: 19:21

(Source: www.weathersa.co.za)