In yesterday's Chiel he told how he rose to become Australia's top crime novel writer and the rewards that have gone with his success.

Today he reminisces about his Selborne days.

"One of the people to whom I owe my self-belief about writing is Jack Benyon of Selborne," he says, "the kindest and most passionate teacher I ever had. (For that, I repaid him by not showing up to collect the English prize. Sorry, Mr Benyon. The term callow youth was coined for me.)

"The history master, Gong Pearson, gave me a lifelong interest in history and I narrowly escaped becoming an academic historian. But I remember him most for his dry, cutting wit.

"As for my fellow-pupils, I fell in with a bad crowd: David James, Steven Shapiro and I went on to be journalists, Mark Nettelton became a lawyer. And that says it all. Andy Russell, I believe, went on to something respectable. (Respectable! A stockbroker - Chiel).

"My best friend was Fatbat Dry, scholastically a disaster, wonderful human being. I miss him still. I remember nicking off to Roger Brent's house for lunchtime Texans (nice and convenient to school in Allenby Road); being in someone's trampled garden seeing Jeff Preston-Thomas fight a Tech boy, both shirtless and bloody, over a lovely girl.

"On Saturday afternoons you watched Selborne play rugby. Was there ever a better schoolboy rugby player than the fragile-looking Jeptha Fetting, a nippier scrumhalf than Jimmy Ryan? Was there ever a more puzzled prop than Ian Knipe?

"Still, Ian got his picture in Playboy, surprisingly small hand draped over groin, which is more than Jeff and Jimmy did.

"I remember Friday afternoons at the cafÈ-bio on Oxford Street, the Austin Healeys and MGs and their show-off drivers outside the milk bar whose name escapes me (Dairy Den perhaps) on Saturday afternoons.

"On Sundays I often played poker with the Fatbat, Pete Saffy and other reprobates at the house of Mike Duffy. This was an establishment with no evidence of parental control. Mike died in the army and I can still see his dangerous, electric face looking over a hand of cards.

"The hope of a film deal burns eternal. All but two of the books have been optioned for films but somehow the next step is never taken. Still, we have hopes for a TV series based on my series character Jack Irish. And my thriller In the Evil Day (which has a South African character) will probably be published in the US this spring and who knows..."

I'm sure East Londoners will now be wanting to read some of Peter's books and will be watching his writing career with added interest.

Grounds for divorce

AND now a story of another kind:

"Well, Mrs O'Connor, so you want a divorce, do you?" the lawyer said to his client. "Tell me about it. Do you have a grudge?"

"Oh, no," she replied. "Sure now, we have a carport."

The lawyer tried again. "Well, does the man beat you up?"

"No, no," said Mrs O'Connor, looking puzzled. "Oi'm always first out of bed."

Still hopeful, he tried once more. "Does he go in for unnatural connubial practices?"

"No, no, he plays the flute, but I don't think he knows anything about the connubial."

Now desperate, the lawyer pushed on. "What I'm trying to find out are what grounds you have."

"Bless ye, sor. We live in a flat - not even a window box, let alone grounds."

"Mrs O'Connor," the lawyer said in exasperation, "you need a valid reason for the court to consider. What is the reason for you seeking this divorce?"

"Ah, well," said the lady, "it's because the man can't hold an intelligent conversation."

April 15, 1954: World-famous tennis players Budge Patty and Jaroslav Drobny will appear in exhibition matches in East London on April 26.

April 15, 1974: Corsier-Sur-Vevey (Switzerland) - Charles Chaplin, still probably the world's most loved film actor although he has not appeared in one since 1957, celebrates his 85th birthday here tomorrow. His main activities now are collecting books and art objects - and visiting circuses. Each autumn the creator of 83 films - including The Gold Rush, Modern Times, The Great Dictator, and Limelight - tries to take his younger children to the national circus when it plays locally, and takes a special delight in the clowns. One of his sons-in-law is a professional clown with his own circus.