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Copyright Dispatch Media (Pty) Ltd, 1998
History of Dispatch

Updated: 8am GMT -- Wednesday, 7 January, 2004

The Chiel

Casino capers

ONE evening of entertaining fun with our "visitors from heaven" over Christmas and New Year turned out to be rather rewarding ... for some!

One of our young visitors told us he was an expert blackjack player and wanted to try his hand at Hemingways Casino. It was good enough reason to all go out and try our hand at various favourite gambling pastimes. I was especially keen to ride my previous luck, having won at roulette the two previous times there.

Granny, however, now in her 90th year, decided it wasn't for her. She'd rather enjoy an early night at home. However, she would take an interest and I was asked to put one R5 chip for her on number 10 on the roulette wheel. May 10 is her birthday.

At the casino we went our separate ways, Simon to blackjack, Mrs Chiel to the poker machine, the others to slot machines. I found a gap at a roulette table, cashed in R100, and started betting my favourite numbers.

Now I'm not the last of the big casino spenders. I go for a bit of fun; am prepared to lose R200 at most and get out when that's gone. But the two previous wins were still on my mind and numbers played then were tried again.

I don't understand the guys who scatter piles of chips on just about every number all over the table. To my mind, they're betting against themselves. So I group mine around one number, covering its neighbours in the process. It's slow going; the chips go a bit further but when you win, you win well (in my small stake mind anyway). You also lose if it isn't your night. It wasn't my night.

Ladies' night

HALF an hour down the track the others had spent a bit, were taking a break, and decided to see how I was doing. I wasn't! Finally there were just two chips in front of me. So I put one on my favourite 5 and called out to the others, "this is granny's R5", placing it on number 10.

Well you guessed it, 10 came up. Granny had won R175 on a single bet.

We cashed in and everyone was in excellent humour about granny's good fortune. Mrs V (for visitor) and Miss V (Jenny) decided there must be something in it. It was a night for birthdays. Jenny went off waving a R20 note, found space at another table and asked the croupier for four chips, placing all on 29, her birth date. Blow me down if the little white ball didn't roll straight into the slot and she reappeared, overcome with delight, clutching seven black chips ... R700. Good thinking. Don't be greedy. Get out when you're on top.

Mrs V now felt she was on a roll and sat down at another table to play her own and family birthday numbers. She too could do little wrong and got up showing a tidy R350 profit. Mrs C plugged away at the poker machine and showed a small profit too.

Well, it was all hardly enough to break the bank, but for those merely seeking a bit of fun and games spread over a couple of hours, rewarding at least. As my dad used to say ... "a small profit is better than any loss".

Alas, the men didn't do as well. We all came away poorer. This was a birthday bash and ladies' night rolled into one. Even granny at home was a winner and she stood us to lunch next day.

Grim news

LISTED South African construction company Aveng announced on Monday that earnings were being hit and issued a profit warning. Bad news for investors.

The strong rand and declining projects were blamed by chief executive Carl Grim as reasons. Grim news indeed for the largest construction company in the country, but not a Grimm's Fairytale.


Thought for today

Whether women are better than men I cannot say - but I can say they are certainly no worse - Golda Meir, Israeli prime minister (1898-1978).


From our files

January 7, 1954: (picture) "Miss 1954" - Six-day-old Trudy Ann Schreiber, probably the first child born in East London in 1954, is shown in the above picture at the Mater Dei hospital in the arms of her mother, Mrs W L Schreiber of Ellis Post, East London District. She was born at 2.30 am on January 1. Trudy's brother, Dominic, who is four years old, was the first baby born at the Mater Dei Maternity Home in 1950 and the 3000th baby to be born since the Home was opened.

January 7, 1974: East London - Dr David Smith, who has been in private practice here for 25 years, has been appointed dental inspector of schools for the Border from April 1. Dr Smith, who qualified at Leeds University, came to South Africa after five years' service in the Royal Air Force during World War 2.


Tailpiece

A sheep farmer needed help castrating some of his inferior rams to keep them from breeding with the females. So he hired a Frenchman who didn't speak much English, but was a good worker.

The first day they successfully castrated 14 sheep and the French worker was just about to throw away the "parts", but the farmer said, "No! Don't! My wife fries them up and we eat them. They're delicious. We call them sheep fries."

Later that day, the French hired hand came in for supper, and indeed the sheep fries were tasty.

Next day they castrated 16 sheep, and that evening they sat down to another supper of sheep fries.

The third day, however, the farmer came home and asked his wife where the Frenchman was. She replied, "It's the strangest thing. I told him there weren't any more sheep fries so we were having French fries instead. He ran like hell!"


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