The Chiel

We wuz robbed

THE South African media has made far too little fuss about the Test umpiring fiasco that gave England the cricket series, so I'm going to stoke things up a bit today. For heavens sake what's wrong with press, radio and television here -- they're supposed to reflect public opinion, nay even lead it? Maybe I've missed something; maybe the Johannesburg or Cape papers we haven't seen here are crying foul; I just haven't got the vibes that this is happening though.

Do you know that Associated Press, the news agency that serves South African newspapers with their overseas picture service didn't even have a picture of the chief accused, Pakistani umpire Javed Akhtar? I had to phone them yesterday to ask for one. I wanted one with Mr Akhtar pointing his finger in the air. They didn't have it; they couldn't get it; and all they could give me was the one you see below -- a tame shot of a controversial figure.

Do you know how the London tabloids would have treated Mr Akhtar had he done to England what he did to Hansie and the boys... they'd have crucified him; they'd have had a blown up picture of him on the front page, finger up, and a screaming headline at the top saying just OUT! Or even better, it might have said UP YOURS TOO!

I didn't see all the wrong decisions he made. What I did were blatantly wrong and the final straw was our own Makhaya Ntini being trapped in front of his wicket, his left leg way down the pitch, and the ball visibly heading towards fine leg. It was a terrible decision. What a different story it would have been had young Mak been the man to save South Africa and steer them to victory -- however much of a long shot that would have been. But if there had been justice, we'd have reached the required score long before he came in anyway.

It wasn't to be. Instead, the Pakistani umpire again showed gross incompetence by Ntini giving out.

The man should be banned from ever umpiring at Test level again. Apparently radio and television commentators, and they were mostly Englishmen who would have been slightly biased England's way, counted seven wrong dismissals by him in the game of which one went against England and six against us.

One hesitates to call him a cheat because one cannot suggest a motive for that. Either the man is short-sighted or he doesn't know the laws of cricket. The first for LBW is that the ball must be going to hit the wicket, never mind all the riders about being pitched between the stumps etcetera ... and before that finger goes up he must also consider that if there is any doubt, the batsman gets the benefit.

No, a great game was brought into disrepute this week by Mr Akhtar. It was a hollow victory for England, but unfortunately it will stand and the record books will reflect that in 1998 England beat South Africa 2-1 in a five Test series.

Call it sour grapes if you like, but the sight of all those England cricketers going moggy when Ntini was given out by the "fiery finger of fate" made my gut turn over.

Okay I give them credit for one thing. They bowled straighter and somehow our chaps kept getting their legs in the way. Mr Akhtar somehow was led to believe that all six wickets were lined up at the end he was umpiring and so even had it been a near wide, that fateful finger went up.

And the Poms soon caught on. Why shouldn't they? They were onto a good thing. They appealed and shouted banshee wails every time the ball hit pad or came within six inches of the bat, and Mr Akhtar fell for the ruse every time.

This wasn't cricket; it was a farce and one man spoilt it all.

Really, the South Africans didn't deserve what they got. We wuz robbed ... good and solid.

Today's thought

He who tells the truth must have one foot in the stirrup -- Armenian proverb.

End of an era

From our files ...

August 12, 1948: Mr Harry Brearley, 77, the British metallurgist who discovered stainless steel, has died. His accidental discovery revolutionised steel-making. He was experimenting during the 1914-18 war on erosion of rifle barrels. One test piece of steel containing a larger proportion of chromium than usual was thrown aside as being useless for the experiment. A fortnight later it was noticed that it had not rusted. Brearley made a knife blade of this chromium steel and left it for a month in his garden. It did not rust.

August 12, 1968: Steam officially bowed out of British Railways yesterday. In the face of progress, 138 years after George Stephenson's Rocket opened the first train passenger service, Britain's last steam locomotive made a 314-mile journey from Liverpool to Carlisle and return before going to the wrecker's yard. Along the line thousands gathered to watch the train thunder by. Trainspotting will never be the same again.

Tailpiece

Why do dragons sleep during the day?