Move over Sun City, here comes EL invasion!

THURSDAY, April 16. Cousin Brian on the phone, inviting me to put a sponsored fourball together (at R2 000 a fourball nog al) to play in the Boots and All golf day at Fish River the following Wednesday, April 22 -- last Wednesday by today's chronology.

Welcoming the invitation, I suggested had it come a day earlier it might have been easier to put together a fourball before players arranged their games for the following Wednesday, but what the hell, I'm in.

So where, I thought, am I going to find three friends ready to play on Wednesday, April 22, bearing in mind I'm musing on Thursday, April 16.

Then, inspiration. I know, I'll phone poker pals Peter Saffy, Barry Arnold and Louis Groenewald.

Great enthusiasm, but Peter S says he'll have to speak to his arranged match the following Wednesday.

He phones back a half an hour later. "We're in!'

He phones back an hour later: "We're out!"

My heart murmur increases marginally.

Peter explains Bok rugby coach Nick Mallett is speaking in East London the following Wednesday (April 22) and as he has bought a table for the Mallett dinner that rules them out of going to Fish River.

I sympathise and get back on the 'blower', phoning golf mates Dudley Schoof, Denys Welgemoed and Neil Chemaly.

Dudley needs some prodding to rearrange his following Wednesday fourball, but eventually capitulates to the power of my persuasion and we have a new fourball for Boots and All.

Sunday evening, April 19. Bump into Louis G at Mass and inquire if there's poker tonight. No, he says, and asks me: "You know what Peter did, don't you?"

"No" I answer innocently.

"Nick Mallett's not talking in East London next Wednesday night (April 22, the Boots and All golf day-night). He's talking the following Wednesday night" (tonight) he says exasperatedly.

I hear Barry A is demanding Peter S pay them each out R500 (the R2 000 cost of the fourball split four ways).

But guys, it gets worse.

The fourball Peter S withdrew from after 'goofing up' (a euphemism for a much more vulgar term) his Mallett dates has now won an all-expenses paid trip to Sun City two days after the Million Dollar ends to play in the national Boots and All competition.

And that's another story worth telling.

Wednesday, April 22 (last Wednesday).

Boots and All golf day at the Fish River Sun.

Pouring rain, so the alliance two scores to count Stableford competition is reduced to nine holes.

Count-out winners on 57 points (all scores to count on the shorts) was the East London Golf Club team of Dirkie Scott, David Hertz, Myron Robinson and Ian Scheckter.

Last off, we thought we were in with a shout after scoring 56 points (scoring 10, 9 on the two shorts alone).

Let it also be said that apart from the first hole our 56 was garnered in pouring rain, whereas those in front of the field played a full nine in rainless weather.

But that's by the way . . .

The two winning fourballs are usually invited to the Boots and All final brouhaha, but because the Fish competition is reduced to nine holes, B and A co-presenter Darren Scott with Naas you know who announces the second Fish winners will be by way of a lucky draw.

Norman Minnaar, East London-born, Selborne-schooled, former Border cricketer at the Fish bash as SAB's head honcho on sports promotion -- SAB are one of the major sponsors of the popular TV talk show programme -- is invited to come up and draw the lucky card.

Norman M goes up . . .and draws . . . you've guessed it . . . his own card.

The other members of his fourball, Brian Lottering, Mark Kleinenberg and Ivan Kidson, are over the wall.

Ten minutes later Norman M goes up to the podium and announces he is embarrassed (a) that he drew his own card; (b) as a sponsor and consequently SAB would be happy to sponsor a third fourball to the B and A bash at Sun City.

Norman M draws another card . . . wait for it . . . you've guessed it . . . and Messrs Schoof, Welgemoed, Chemaly and Denison are off to Sun City on Saturday, December 5 to catch the last two days of the Million Dollar before playing in the Boots and All final extravaganza.

Sorry Pete, Barry, Louis, but as they say in the classics, "Eat your heart out guys!"

I understand Arnold and Groenewald are not presently talking to Saffy!

It's also worth noting that from the field at Fish River drawn from East London, Port Alfred, Grahamstown, Port Elizabeth, Jeffreys Bay and even Plett and Knysna, the three coveys going to Sun City are all members of the East London Golf Club -- and, 'strues bob', there was no vernekere.

* One last point before leaving this Easter fairy story come true.

My sincere thanks to cousin Brian, who works on the sales side at BMW City's Landrover division for inviting me to make up my fourball and for making available the sexiest Landrover I've ever driven -- a diesel-powered aubergine-coloured Freelander that handled with all the panache of a luxury sedan, underscoring Landrover's claim it is, indeed, the best 4 x 4 x far!

SENIORS

The Senior Golfers' Society of South Africa staged their national championships in George last week -- and the Eastern Cape produced three of the top four finishers.

Terry Long of Port Elizabeth and a member of the EP society is a remarkable golfer who, I understand, despite his 75 years, regularly shoots his age.

In George he did just that, carding 75 over the difficult par-72 Montagu course at Fancourt (the first course laid out at South Africa's premier golf resort) and followed that with 80 at the highly challenging par-72 George course for155 and a stroke ahead of former EP golfer Peter Eales.

Eales is now ensconced in the Border Seniors' Society since moving to East London many moons ago and retiring in East London from the motor business three years ago.

Peter E carded a pair of 78s for 156 and joint second with Alan Elderton of Natal (75 81).

A stroke behind Eales on 157 (76 81) was his ELGC clubmate, Denzil Gouws, a SA Vets 'Springbok' in 1993.

And where, you might ask if you follow the older brigade of golf, was former Springbok, 1954 SA Open champion (in East London), 1956 SA Amateur champion Reg Taylor, a man who had won the SA Seniors title seven times the last time I counted in 1993, the last time the SA Seniors was played in East London?

It must have been bad day at Black Rock for Taylor who finished in fifth place on 158 (83 75), a shot in front of another former EP golfer, Graham Pearson, on 159 (80 79). Perason has lived in Durban for many years since playing for EP in the 1960s.

LEAGUE

Full results of the first round of the Alan Brookes league, played on March 22, have reached me. The results were:

A league: ELGC A1 beat Gonubie 5-4; ELGC A2 beat Alex 9-0.

B league: West Bank beat Alex 7-2; King beat Queenstown 5-4.

C league: Queenstown beat ELGC 5-4; Gonubie beat West Bank 9-0.

D league: Stutterheim beat Alex 7,5-1,5; ELGC beat Cathcart 9-0.

E league: King beat Gonubie 5-4; West Bank beat Queenstown 7,5-1,5.

* Results of the second round played last Sunday were:

A: ELGC A1 beat Alex 9-0; ELGC A2 beat Gonubie 7,5-1,5.

B: West Bank beat King 8-1; Queenstown a bye following the withdrawal of Alex from the B league.

C: ELGC beat West Bank 5-4; Gonubie beat Queenstown 6-3.

D: ELGC beat Alex 9-0; no news of Cathcart versus Stutterheim.

E: Gonubie beat Queenstown 6-3; West Bank beat King 8-1.

* The third round will be played on May 10.

ARCHIVES

More from my down memory fairway . . .

* February 1966 and West Bank took an impressive three-point lead over East London B after the first round of the East London and District Sub-union league match played at Alex.

West Bank nearly got a 12-point fullhouse with 'Darkie' van Zyl and CP Perks winning both their matches for four points each, while Henry Nel won one and halved one for three points for an overall West Bank tally of 11 points.

East London B's eight points came from Koos Cromhout and Dougie Holmes, who each collected four points, while Harold Whitfield collected none, which translates into him losing both his matches.

The points of the other teams (with members' points in brackets) were:

Alexander 6 (Warwick Stodel 2, Phillip Zimmerman 2, Eli Jankelson 2); Combined Country Districts-King-Stutt 4 (Ken Boucher 0, Stuart Dorrington 1, Jock Aitken 3); East London C 4 (Jimmy Sanan 0, R Bailey 4, Dawid le Clus 0); East London A 3 (Ken Paterson 2, Roy Bryson 1, Jake Jackson 0).

One of the star performances came from 62-year-old Aitken. Playing off nine, he beat Jackson (EL A) and halved with Nel (WB).

* March 1966 and a preview of the Alex club championship. The defending champion was Mick Kaplan.

His most serious challengers were Loet te Groen, Jankelson, Zimmerman, Gerry Behr, Stodel and two Daves, Zackon and Scheckter.

Te Groen won with 74 77 for 151 from Kaplan, a pair of 77s for 154, and Zackon and Behr, both 162.

Cyril Blumenthal, who died recently, won the B with 175 from C Cohen and E Meyer, 179, and J Solomon took the C with 193 from one of the great Alex characters of yesteryear, Sammy Becker, 196.

* The Border team which played in the 1966 SA inter-provincial at Hermanus was Ken Paterson (capt), Roy Bryson, Doug Kockott, CP Perks, Alfred Hopf, Brian Baillie, Robin Gouverneur and George James.

FOUNDATION

Busy weekend ahead for junior golfers with the 36-hole West Bank championships teeing off from 7am on Friday and an 18-hole competition at Alex on Sunday. The Alex date allows for Border squad matchplay practise at 7.30 with the rest of the field teeing off from 8am.